That must be the story of innumerable couples and the pattern of life it offers hasa homely grace. It reminds you of a placid rivulet, meandering smoothly throughgreen pastures and shaded by pleasant trees, till at last it fallsinto the vast sea; but the sea is so calm, so silent, so indifferent, that youare troubled suddenly by a vague uneasiness. Perhaps it is only by a kinkin my nature, strong in me even in those days, that I felt in such anexistence, the share of the great majority, something amiss. I recognized itssocial value. I saw its ordered happiness, but a fever in my blood asked for awilder course. There seemed to me something alarming in such easy delights. Inmy heart was desire to live more dangerously. I was not unprepared for jaggedrocks and treacherous, shoals it I could only have change-change and the excitementof unforeseen.
这一定是世间无数对夫妻的生活写照，这种生活模式给人一种天伦之美。它使人想起一条平静的溪流，蜿蜒畅游过绿茵的草场，浓荫遮蔽，最后注入烟波浩渺的汪洋大海；但是大海太过平静，太过沉默，太过不动声色，你会突然感到莫名的不安。也许这只是我自己的一种怪诞想法，在那样的时代，这想法对我影响很深：我觉得这像大多数人一样的生活，似乎欠缺了一点儿什么。我承认这种生活有社会价值，我也看到了它那井然有序的幸福，但我血液里的冲动却渴望一种更桀骜不驯的旅程．这样的安逸中好像有一种叫我惊惧不安的东西．我的心渴望一种更加惊险的生活。只要生活中还能有变迁---以及不可知的刺激，我愿意踏上怪石嶙峋的山崖，奔赴暗礁满布的海滩。
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