上海初三一模英语作文

　　2015年浦东新区一模原题：

　　Ø 昂立中考名师孙焕奂老师范文：
　　I get friendship from my class life
　　Friendship is one of the most valuable relationships in one’s life. Luckily, I make good friends and maintain precious friendship from my class life. As the saying①“true friendship is a plant of slow growth” goes, I did not harvest friendship as easily and quickly as I had expected at the beginning of my class life. However, when I try my best to help the classmates in need, I begin to win their trust and respect. As time goes by, classmates ②of the similar interest and ③sharing the same belief come together and become good friends. ④Living and studying in a friendly and harmonious atmosphere in my class, I feel so happy that I always ⑤make every effort to make contribution to my class. ⑥With all my friends thinking in the same way, my class has become a lovely family.
　　(Words: 146 )
　　Ø 内容分析：
　　浦东新区的一模作文题目，命题贴近学生的校园生活，基本可以确保拿到这个题目的学生人人有话可说，且可以做到言之有物。
　　第一步：审题
　　I get____ from my class life, 下划线部分是需要学生自行填充的。题干部分给了诸如friendship/happiness/help等提示词供考生参考，从这些词的共性中不难发现，尽管是自由发挥，填入下划线部分的应该是一个较为概括性的、比较抽象的词汇。换言之，考生不可以填写a schoolbag等具体的实物。
　　第二步：构思
　　考生可以从提示词中任选一个进行创作，也可以联系自己的班级生活，选取一个从班级生活中获得的“最大的收获”来写作，比如：love\good luck\stimulation等;不管选取哪一个词汇，一定需要足够的论证和例证来支撑论点。建议考生选取一个比较熟悉的词汇，在考场上的有限时间里，考生不必放弃自己熟悉的词域而刻意标新立异。
　　第三步: 成文
　　正所谓“凡事预则立，不预则废”，尽管考试时间紧张，一篇优秀的文章离不开一个良好的谋篇布局。建议考生在稿纸上简单粗略的写几个关键词，作为提纲，指导写作思路。草稿关键词以“动词/动词词组”为主，因为动词是一个句子的灵魂，可以表达作者最主要的思想。
　　Ø 精彩亮点分析：
　　亮点一: 出自George Washington，原句为：True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to that appellation. 真正的友谊是慢慢生长的树，要经得起患难的冲击，才称得上真正的友谊。
　　亮点二：介词短语做后置定语，修饰限定classmates;
　　亮点三：现在分词做后置定语，与介词短语并列，修饰限定classmates;
　　亮点四：现在分词做原因状语，与主句构成因果关系;
　　亮点五：词组make every effort to do sth. , 尽全力做某事;
　　亮点六：With结构的独立主格，使句式更加多样。