卑鄙的我经典台词

2021-06-14 台词

　　Despicable Me

　　Girls: Hi Penny.

　　Penny: Hi, guys.

　　Gru: Hell, Mum. Sorry, I meant to call, but…

　　Mum: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. That was you, wasn’t it? Or was it a villain who’s actually successful?

　　Gru: Good luck with that. Okay, I am out of here.

　　Gru: Gru to see Mr. Perkins.

　　Clerk: Yes, please have a seat.

　　Speaker: That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mainkind.

　　Gru: Ma, somebody I’m going to go to the moon.

　　Mum: I’m afraid you’re too late, son. NASA isn’t sending the monkeys any more.

　　Vector: Hey. I’m applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It’s a mathematical term a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That’s me. ‘cause I’m committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven’t. I

　　invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my…

　　Clerk: Mr. Gru. Mr Perkins will see you now.

　　Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket, and then, the moon is ours. Mr. Perkins : Wow, well, very nice presentation. I’d like to see this shrink ray.

　　Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it.

　　Mr. Perkins: You don’t have it ? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently.

　　Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let’s say this apple is you? If we don’t start getting our money back… Get the picture? Look, Gru, the pint is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid!

　　Gru: I’ve got it. I’ve got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket…

　　Mr. Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we’ll talk.

　　Minions: suckers! Suckers!

　　Gru: We’ve got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You!

　　Vector: ha… Now, maybe you’ll think twice before you freeze someone’s head. So long! Gru. Gru: Quick! We can’t let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire, Fire, now!

　　Vector: You missed me!

　　Gru: Come to papa.

　　Vector: Take thathe. How adorable.

　　Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a…What?

　　Vector: Hey! Gru. Try this on for size.

　　Gru: That’s weird. What’s going… This is claustrophobic? No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! I hate that guy!

　　Margo: …and please watch over us, and bless that we’ll have a good night’s sleep.

　　Eidth: And bless that while we’re sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears, and lay eggs in our brains.

　　Margo: Great. Thanks for that image. Edith.

　　Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen!

　　Margo, Edith: Amen!

　　Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them, Uni, uni, unicorns I love them. Uni,

　　unicorns I could pet one. If they were really real. And they are. So, I bought one so I could pet it. Now it loves me now I love it.

　　Gru: Good luck! Little girls.

　　Edith: whoa! Cool

　　Margo: Hi! We’re orphans from Miss Hatties Home for Girls.

　　Vector: I don’t care. Beat it!

　　Margo: Come on! We’re selling cookies so, you know. We can have a better future. Vector: Wait! Wait! Do you have coco-mutties?

　　Margo: Yeah!

　　Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I’m going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What?

　　Gru: Cookie robots.

　　Dr. Nefario: Who is this?

　　Gru: Oh, forget it.

　　Miss Hattie: well, it appears you have cleared our background check. Dr. Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor, and a knighthood.

　　Minions: Me, me, me. Idiot! Fight, fight, fight…

　　Miss Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It’s not that impressive. What in the name of … what?

　　Gru: Well, here’s the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It’s like my heart is a tooth, and it’s got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I’m sorry. You’re a beautiful woman, do you speak Spanish?

　　Miss Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish?

　　Gru: You have a face somo un burro.

　　Miss Hattie: well, thank you!

　　Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption?. So, so excited!

　　Miss Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby…

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