How the Americans View Friendship
Steve and Yaser ‵first met｜in their chemistry class｜at an American university. Yaser was an ‵international student｜from Jordon. He wanted to learn ‵more｜about American culture｜and hope that he and Steve would become ‵good friends. At first, Steve seemed ‵very friendly. He always greeted Yaser ‵warmly before class. Sometimes he offered to study with Yaser. He ‵even invited Yaser｜to eat lunch with him. ‵But after the semester was over, Steve seemed more distant.①The two former classmates｜didn’t see each other very much｜at school. One day Yaser decided to call Steve. Steve didn’t seem ‵very interested｜in talking to him. Yaser was ‵hurt｜by Steve’s change of attitude. “Steve said we were friends.” Yaser complained, “and I thought friends were friends｜for ever.” Yaser is a little ‵confused. As a foreigner, he doesn’t understand the way｜Americans view friendship. Americans use the word “friend”｜in a ‵very general way. They may call ‵both casual acquaintances｜and close companions “friends”.② These friendships are based on ‵common interests. When the shared activity ‵ends, the friendship may ‵fade. Now as Steve and Yaser｜are no longer classmates, their “friendship”｜has changed. In some cultures｜friendship means a ‵strong life-long bond｜ between two people. In these cultures｜friendships develop ‵slowly, since they are built to last. American society is one of ‵rapid change. Studies show｜that one out of five American families ‵moves every year. American friendships develop quickly, and they may change｜just as ‵quickly. People from the United States｜may at first seem friendly. Americans often chat ‵easily with strangers. But American friendliness｜is not always an offer of ‵true friendship. After an experience like Yaser’s｜people who’ve been in this country for only a ‵few months｜may consider Americans to be fickle. Learning how Americans view friendship｜can help non-Americans avoid misunderstandings. It can ‵also make them｜make friends the American way. [320 words]
美国人的友谊观
史蒂夫和亚瑟第一次见面是在美国一所大学的化学课上。亚瑟是来自约旦的外国留学生，他想更多地了解美国文化，并希望能和史蒂夫成为好友。起初，史蒂夫显得很友好，上课前他总是热情地与亚瑟打招呼。有时他主动提出与亚瑟一起学习，甚至还邀请亚瑟共进午餐。但学期结束后，史蒂夫显得比较冷淡了。①这两位先前的同班同学在学校不再经常见面。有一天，亚瑟决定给史蒂夫打个电话，可史蒂夫似乎不大愿意与其交谈。史蒂夫态度的改变让亚瑟感到受了伤害。“史蒂夫说过我们是好朋友，”亚瑟抱怨说，“我本来以为是朋友就永远是朋友。”亚瑟有些不解。作为一个外国人，他不理解美国人对友谊的看法。美国人对“朋友”一词的使用非常广泛。他们可能把偶然相识的人和亲密的伙伴都称之为“朋友”。②这些友谊都是基于共同的兴趣。当这些原来共同从事的活动不复存在时，友谊也可能随之淡化。现在亚瑟和史蒂夫不再是同学，所以他们的“友谊”已经发生了变化。在有些文化中，友谊意味着维系两个人之间牢固的持续终生的纽带。在这些文化中，友谊发展得很慢，因为人们是在建立持续终生的感情。而美国社会是个快速变化的社会。有研究显示，每年每五个美国家庭中就有一家迁移。美国人的友谊建立得非常快，其变化也同样快。从美国来的人给人的第一印象是很友好。美国人常随意与陌生人交谈。然而美国人的.友好并不总是真正友情的表示。来到美国才几个月的外国人在经历了一次如同亚瑟这样的经历之后，可能会认为美国人易变。了解美国人对友谊的看法，有助于非美国人避免误解，还可以帮助他们学会以美国方式与美国人交朋友。
Competition
It is a plain fact that we are in a world where competition is going on in all areas and at all levels.This is exciting.Yet, on the other hand, competition breeze a pragmatic attitude.People choose to learn things that are useful,and do things that are profitable.Todays' college education is also affected by this general sense of utilitarianism. Many college students choose business nor computing programming as their majors convinced that this professions are where the big money is. It is not unusual to see the college students taking a part time jobs as a warming up for the real battle.I often see my friends taking GRE tests, working on English or computer certificates and taking the driving licence to get a licence. Well, I have nothing against being practical. As the competition in the job market gets more and more intense, students do have reasons to be practical. However, we should never forget that college education is much more than skill training. Just imagine, if your utilitarianism is prevails on campus, living no space for the cultivation of students' minds,or nurturing of their soul. We will see university is training out well trained spiritless working machines.If utilitarianism prevails society, we will see people bond by mind-forged medicals lost in the money-making ventures;we will see humality lossing their grace and dignity, and that would be disastrous.I'd like to think society as a courage and people persumed for profit or fame as a horese that pulls the courage.Yet without the driver picking direction the courage would go straight and may even end out in a precarious situation .A certificate may give you some advantage, but broad horizons, positive attitudes and personal integrities ,these are assets you cannot acquire through any quick fixed way.In today's world, whether highest level of competition is not of skills or expertise , but vision and strategy. Your intellectual quality largely determinds how far you can go in your career.
Chinese Undergraduates in the US
Each year, elite American universities and liberal arts colleges, such as Yale, Harvard, Columbia, Amherst and Wellesley, offer a number of scholarships to Chinese high school graduates to study in their undergraduate programs. Four years ago, I received such a scholarship from Yale.
What are these Chinese undergrads like? Most come from middle-class families in the big urban centers of China. The geographical distribution is highly skewed, with Shanghai and Beijing heavily over-represented. Outside the main pool, a number of Yale students come from Changsha and Ningbo,swhereseach year American Yale graduates are sent to teach English.
The overwhelming majority of Chinese undergraduates in the US major in science, engineering or economics. Many were academic superstars in their high schools - gold medallists in international academic Olympiads or prize winners in national academic contests. Once on US campuses, many of them decide to make research a lifelong commitment.
Life outside the classroom constitutes an important part of college life. At American universities the average student spends less than thirteen hours a week in class. Many Chinese students use their spare time to pick up some extra pocket money. At Yale, one of the most common campus jobs is washing dishes in the dining halls. Virtually all Chinese undergraduates at Yale work part-time in the dining halls at some point in their college years. As they grow in age and sophistication, they upgrade to better-paying and less stressful positions. The more popular and interesting jobs include working as a computer assistant, math homework grader, investment office assistant and lab or research assistant. The latter three often lead to stimulating summer jobs.
Student activities are another prominent feature of American college life. Each week there are countless student-organized events of all sorts - athletic, artistic, cultural, political or social (i.e. just for fun). New student organizations are constantly being created, and Chinese undergrads contribute to this ferment. Sport looms much larger on US campuses than in China. At Yale, intramural sports from soccer to water polo take place all year long; hence athletic talent is a real social asset. One of the Chinese students at Yale several years ago was a versatile sportsman. His athletic talents and enthusiastic participation in sporting events, combined with his other fine qualities, made him a popular figure in his residential college.
I Want to Know
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, without moving to hide it
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
I want to know if you can see beauty , if you can source your life from god’s presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
Beauty
there were a sensitivity and a beauty to her that have nothing to do with looks. She was one to be listened to, whose words were so easy to take to heart.
I have thought about her often over the years and how she struggled in a society that places an incredible premium on looks, class, wealth and all the other fineries of life. She suffered from a disfigurement that cannot be made to look attractive. I know that her condition hurt her deeply.
Would her life have been different had she been pretty? Chances are it would have. And yet there were a sensitivity and a beauty to her that had nothing to do with looks. She was one to be listened to, whose words were so easy to take to heart. Her words came from a wounded but loving heart, very much like all hearts, but she had more of a need to be aware of it, to live with it and learn from it. She possessed a fine-tuned sense of beauty. Her only fear in life was the loss of a friend.
It is said that the true nature of being is veiled. The labor of words, the expression of art, the seemingly ceaseless buzz that is human thought all have in common the need to get at what really is so. The hope to draw close to and possess the truth of being can be a feverish one. In some cases it can even be fatal, if pleasure is one's truth and its attainment more important than life itself. In other lives, though, the search for what is truthful gives life.
The truth of her life was a desire to see beyond the surface for a glimpse of what it is that matters. She found beauty and grace and they befriended her, and showed her what is real.
Work and Pleasure
To be really happy and really safe, one ought to have at least two or three hobbies, and they must all be real. It is no use starting late in life to say: “I will take an interest in this or that.” Such an attempt only aggravates the strain of mental effort. A man may acquire great knowledge of topics unconnected with his daily work, and yet hardly get any benefit or relief. It is no use doing what you like; you have got to like what you do. Broadly speaking, human beings may be divided into three classes: those who are toiled to death, those who are worried to death, and those who are bored to death. It is no use offering the manual labourer, tired out with a hard week’s sweat and effort, the chance of playing a game of football or baseball on Saturday afternoon. It is no use inviting the politician or the professional or business man, who has been working or worrying about serious things for six days, to work or worry about trifling things at the weekend.
It may also be said that rational, industrious useful human beings are divided into two classes: first, those whose work is work and whose pleasure is pleasure; and secondly, those whose work and pleasure are one. Of these the former are the majority. They have their compensations. The long hours in the office or the factory bring with them as their reward, not only the means of sustenance, but a keen appetite for pleasure even in its simplest and most modest forms. But Fortune’s favoured children belong to the second class. Their life is a natural harmony. For them the working hours are never long enough. Each day is a holiday, and ordinary holidays when they come are grudged as enforced interruptions in an absorbing vocation. Yet to both classes the need of an alternative outlook, of a change of atmosphere, of a diversion of effort, is essential. Indeed, it may well be that those whose work is their pleasure are those who most need the means of banishing it at intervals from their minds.
工作和娱乐
要想获得真正的快乐与安宁，一个人应该有至少两三种爱好，而且必须是真正的爱好。到晚年才说“我对什么什么有兴趣”是没用的，这只会徒然增添精神负担。一个人可以在自己工作之外的领域获得渊博的知识，不过他可能几乎得不到什么好处或是消遣。做你喜欢的事是没用的，你必须喜欢你所做的事。总的来说，人可以分为三种：劳累而死的、忧虑而死的、和烦恼而死的。对于那些体力劳动者来说，经历了一周精疲力竭的体力劳作，周六下午让他们去踢足球或者打棒球是没有意义的。而对那些政治家、专业人士或者商人来说，他们已经为严肃的事情操劳或烦恼六天了，周末再让他们为琐事劳神也是没有意义的。
也可以说，那些理性的、勤勉的、有价值的人们可分为两类，一类，他们的工作就是工作，娱乐就是娱乐；而另一类，他们的工作即娱乐。大多数人属于前者，他们得到了相应的补偿。长时间在办公室或工厂里的工作，回报给他们的不仅是维持了生计，还有一种强烈的对娱乐的需求，哪怕是最简单的、最朴实的娱乐。不过，命运的宠儿则属于后者。他们的生活很自然和谐。对他们来说，工作时间永远不嫌长。每天都是假日，而当正常的假日来临时，他们总是埋怨自己所全身心投入的休假被强行中断了。不过，有些事情对两类人是同样至关重要的，那就是转换一下视角、改变一下氛围、将精力转移到别的事情上。确实，对那些工作即是娱乐的人来说，最需要隔一段时间就用某种方式把工作从脑子里面赶出去。
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