1、A Simple Way to Make A Good First Impression
written by Dale Carnegie
At a dinner party in New York, one of the guests, a woman who had inherited money, was eager to make a pleasing impression on everyone. She had squandered a modest fortune on sables, diamonds and pearls. But she hadn't done anything whatever about her face. It radiated sourness and selfishness. She didn't realize what everyone knows: namely, that the expression one wears on one's face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one's back.
Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth a million dollars. And he was probably understanding the truth. For Schwab's personality, his charms, his ability to make people like him, were almost wholly responsible for his extraordinary success; and one of the most delightful factors in his personality was his captivating smile.
Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, "I like you, you make me happy. I'm glad to see you." That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.
A baby's smile has the same effect. Have you ever been in a doctor's waiting room and looked around at all the glum faces waiting impatiently to be seen? Dr. Stephen K. Sproul, a veterinarian in Raytown, Missouri, told of a typical spring day when his waiting room was full of clients waiting to have their pets inoculated. No one was talking to anyone else, and all were probably thinking of a dozen other things they would rather to be doing than "wasting time" sitting in that office. He told one of our classes:
"There were six or seven clients waiting when a young woman came in with a nine-month-old baby and a kitten. As luck would have it, she sat down next to a gentleman who was more than a little distraught about the long wait for service. The next thing he knew, the baby just looked up at him with that great big smile that is so characteristic of babies. What did that gentleman do?
"Just what you and I would do, of course; he smiled back at the baby. Soon he struck up a conversation with the woman about her baby and his grandchildren, and soon the entire reception room joined in, and the boredom and tension were converted into a pleasant and enjoyable experience."
An insincere grin? That doesn't fool anybody. We know it is mechanical and we resent it. I am talking about a real smile, a heartwarming smile, a smile that comes from within, the kind of smile that will bring a good price in the marketplace.
Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, expressed his feelings about a smile. "People who smile," he said, "tend to manage teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There's far more information in a smile than a frown. That's why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment."
The employment manager of a large New York department store told me she would rather hire a sales clerk who hadn't finished grade school, if he or she has a pleasant smile, than to hire a doctor of philosophy with a somber face.
The effect of a smile is powerful--even when it is unseen. Telephone companies throughout the United States have a program called "phone power" which is offered to employees who use the telephone for selling their services or products. In this program they suggest that you smile when talking on the phone. Your "smile" comes through in your voice.
The chairman of the board of directors of one of the largest rubber companies in the United States told me that, according to his observations, people rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it. This industrial leader doesn't put much faith in the old adage that hard work alone is the magic key that will unlock the door to our desires, " I have known people," he said, " The one who succeeded because they had rip-roaring good time conducting their business. Later, I saw those people changed as the fun became weak. The business had grown dull, they lost all joy in it, and they failed."
You must have a good time meeting poeple if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
Men do not attract that which they want,but that which they are.Their whims,fancies and ambitions are thwarted at every step ,but their inmost thoughts and desires are fed with their own food,be it foul or clean. The "divinity that shapes our ends"is in ourselves ;it is our very self.Only himself manacles man:thought and action are the gaolers of fate ---they imprion,beimg noble. Nont what he wishes and prays for does a man get,but what he justly earns. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize whith his thoughts and actions.
In the light of this truth ,what,then,is the meaning of"fighting against circumstances?"It means that a man is continually revolting against an effect without,while all the time he is niurishing and preserving its cause in his heart.That cause may take form of a conscious vice or an unconscious weakness;but whatever it is,it stubbornly retards the efforts of its possessor,and thus calls aloud for remedy .
Men are anxious to improve their circumstances,but are unwilling to improve themselves;they therefore remain bound The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set This is as true of earthly as of heavenly things.Even the man whose sole object is to acquire wealth must be prepared to make great personal sacrifices before he can accomplish his object ;and how much more so he who would realize a strong and well-poised life?
Here is a man who is wretchedly poor.He is extremely anxious that his surroundings and home comforts should be improved ,yet all the time he shirks his work,and considers he is justified in trying to deceive his employer on the ground of the insufficiency of his wages.Such a man does not understand the simplest rudiments of those principles which are the basis of true prosperity, and is not only totally unfitted to rise out of his wrechedness by dwelling in ,and acting out, indolent, deceptive,and unmanly thoughts.
Here is a rich man who is the victim of a painful and persistent disease as the result of gluttony.He is willing to give large sums of money to get rid of it,but he will not sacrifice his gluttonous desires.He wants to gratify his taste for rich and unnatural viands and have his health as well.Such a man is totally unfit to have health,because he has not yet learned the first principles of a healthy life.
Here is an employer of labor who adopts crooked measures to avoid paying the regulation wage,and,in the hope of marking large profits,reduces the wages of his workpeople.Such a man is altogether unfitted for prosperity.and when he finds himself bankrupt,both as regards reputation and riches,he blames circumstances,not knowing that he is the sole author of his condition.
I have introduced these three cases merely as illustrative of the truth that man is the causer(though nearly always is unconsciously)of his circumstances.
shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car， and you get about the same results。
to be in your children’s memories tomorrow， you have to be in their lives today。
the smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side。
the best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere and hide the keys to the car。
the right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts， not by hot heads。
parents: people who bare infants， bore teenagers， and board newlyweds。
the joy of motherhood : what a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed。
life’s garden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car。
grandparents are similar to a piece of string-handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren。
a child outgrows your lap， but never outgrows your heart。
god gave you two ears and one mouth…so you should listen twice as much as you talk。
there are three ways to get something done: do it yourself， hire someone to do it， or forbid your children to do it。
adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents。
cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm。
oh， to be only half as wonderful as my child thought i was when he was small， and half an stupid as my teenager now thinks i am。
there are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother’s age。
money isn’t everything ， but it sure keeps the kids in touch。
adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers。
an alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don’t have small children。
no wonder kids are confused today。 half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost。
people hardest to convince that it’s time for retirement are children at bedtime。
kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights。