雅虎工程师的奇特简历

2021-06-22 简历

　　最近雅虎颇为动荡，之前的收购闹得沸沸扬扬，高管纷纷离职，于是猎头们也虎视眈眈。一位雅虎的工程师艾萨克·施吕特不堪忍受猎头骚扰，于是发出一封奇特的简历，开价40万美元没得商量。

　　Price

　　$400,000

　　(It's not negotiable.)

　　This is not a joke.

　　I truly love working at Yahoo!, and believe that my position here offers the best avenue to further my career. I was not laid off. I have no plans to leave. I am not worried about mergers or buy-outs. I know that some executive just quit, and clearly, I don't care even a little.

　　Yes, yes, you've recently gotten a million gillion dollars in venture capital, and you were founded by 2 brain surgeon rocket scientist Stanford PhD grads who invented a perpetual motion machine, blah blah blah.

　　I have actually heard it already, that line of yours. Probably very recently. So don't bother.

　　Please don't "reach out to me directly" unless you can actually afford me; it is demeaning and absurd to think that the sound of your voice would somehow change my opinion on this matter.

　　I have tried so very hard to put this in the strongest possible language, but some people just never get it.

　　If you have a new or exciting web application, and you'd like my feedback on it, feel free to contact me. If I feel like it, and have the time, I'll play with your beta and let you know what I think.

　　If you want more than my hobby time, I do product consultation on an ad hoc basis at $300 per hour.

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